I haven't written anything good in a really, really long time. It's frustrating, but I have plausible excuses. Nevertheless, this doesn't make me feel any better.
Before May 8th, it was simply being busy (or drunk) having one of the most intense 16 weeks of my life; now, during my summer hiatus, I blame it on cosmetic surgery recovery and being back in Caracas, the place I have grown to both love and hate. It was this fucking boredom that characterizes this city that made me want to leave in the first place last August (oh, yeah, and the academic opportunities somewhere else).
It doesn't matter that I have access to more money, more "civilization" and more clubs than back in SD -- this place is just tired. And expensive! No bar/club/restaurant here to date is worth the astronomical prices that they advertise. I've been wanting to check out El Teatro, but the $25 cover charge (with no drinks) makes me cringe. Perhaps I've gotten way too used to Brookings' unreal cheapness. Even Elmo Bar closed down -- what the fuck is wrong with these people? The best places keep getting shut down and replaced by cookie-cutter clones of whatever's "hot" at San Ignacio. (Are we surprised? After all, it has only been a year)
Granted, my perception may be a bit altered because I have been in recovery for a while and haven't given the city enough of a chance to wow me -- but really, a mere survey of friends' shenanigans in the last few days suffices to let me know that I'm probably right.
It's revolting to think about yet another random night of mediocre drinks, coming home on an overpriced taxi after dancing to an avalanche of utter musical 2007 top 40 bullshit, amidst drunken, sweaty, UGLY bodies... and calling it a rocking evening.
Look, I'm no better -- by no means am I a 9 or a 10, but I have gotten some fucking standards, and for the life of me, I have not seen anyone above a 4 in this city.
Okay, maybe I have; but they have turned out to be gay -- and not just "I think that guy's gay", but truly, "I'm shaking my ass at a gay club" gay. I have no problem with gay guys (I don't even want to *hear* the word "homophobic" after this post), though it seems as if Caracas has been hijacked by the male homosexual community -- no lie, confirmed by several other straight women in my circle. I don't understand how women are still getting pregnant here; I believe we are being forced to settle for the below 4s, and as the silicone breasts keep getting bigger, the waists smaller, ugly guys' egos and shamelessness have reached epic proportions. There is such a shortage of straight men, that even economic status is starting to leave its "deal-breaker" status.
Competition is tough here in Caracas, but, what the hell are we even trying for? No thanks, I'd rather be celibate for the remainder of my stay. Sometimes I want to club these women over the head, for taking such painful detail to look good for these disgusting bozos that hardly even deserve to be out in public. But then again, has anything really changed? Other than me and my own perception of myself after the weight loss and subsequent cosmetic surgery (I'm coming back for another one in December, haa!)?
Needless to say, though -- this entire weight-loss journey has changed me in unimaginable ways: some good, some bad, some ugly... especially when some haters start telling me "my personality has changed" or that "they liked the other Vanessa better". I guess they just miss the complacency, the sycophantic nature, the comic relief? At the risk of sounding arrogant... haa, nevermind.
I might as well focus on the good things about being back home, though, because among the crap, there were several people and activities that I used to take for granted, but seriously, seriously missed. Yet, I'm not so crass as to start waxing optimistic on this website (when have I ever?).
That being said -- I'll proceed to exploit my vanity with pre and post surgery photos (which I have already posted on Facebook, but it's time to get back to my roots).
Will there be more substance in my next post? Doubtful -- I leave that for the scholarly activities before and after the summer.
Check me out right here -- photos on the left (with longer hair) are BEFORE, photos on the right (with shorter hair) are AFTER:
Hello Ms. Vanessa, You made your site simple yet elegant. The music player and pictures are a nice touch. I see that you have a wide variety of interests and observations here! I’m sending an important message to people from Jehovah God that is in the Bible: 7 For sure the Lord does not do anything without making His plan known to His servants who speak for Him. (Amos 3:7) (NLV)
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Hello Ms. Vanessa,
You made your site simple yet elegant. The music player and pictures are a nice touch. I see that you have a wide variety of interests and observations here!
I’m sending an important message to people from Jehovah God that is in the Bible: 7 For sure the Lord does not do anything without making His plan known to His servants who speak for Him. (Amos 3:7) (NLV)